You may find that you act differently around close family members or friends than you do around people you don’t know very well. You may act differently around co-workers alone than when your boss is around. Or, you may act differently around kids than around elderly people. Consider the reasons for this. Be sensitive toward those around you. Take into consideration who you’re talking to before you say something. Watch for vague statements that could be taken the wrong way by certain people. [1] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
Be friendly and respectful toward all people, regardless of how they are different from you. If they seem uncomfortable at first, it may be because you are just as different to them as they are to you. Take the first step and be polite. You may end up learning much about the many differences in the world. In the words of Dale Carnegie (author of How to Win Friends and Influence People) try to, “Focus outward, not inward. ”[3] X Research source
Stereotyping, or making racist or sexist comments, can be quite offensive, even if you’re talking to a group that doesn’t include the people you’re commenting on.
Example: You are busily working on a project and someone approaches you to talk. You quickly acknowledge them but then continue working. If they continue trying to have a conversation with you, they have not read your social cue, which is that you are too busy right now to talk. Another example: You’re at a party, or a bar. A person you don’t know approaches you and starts flirting. You turn away and continue talking to your friends. The person who approached doesn’t leave, and instead repeatedly tries to get your attention. This person has not read your social cue, which is that you’re not interested. The importance of reading social cues is that it can be frustrating for the person who has given the cue if it is not interpreted. Reading social cues is often something that we learn as children. Cultural differences can sometimes interfere with the reading of social cues, as can certain disabilities such as autism, ADHD, and depression.
If someone isn’t making eye contact with you, don’t jump to conclusions. Cultural differences sometimes deem eye contact inappropriate, or it could be a sign that someone is intimidated by you. Give it time and see if you can figure out the cause. [7] X Research source
Avoid statements that are heavy with value-judgments. For example, instead of saying, “The mayor sure is a moron, huh?” say, “What do you think of the mayor’s rebuilding proposals (or whatever the topic is)?”[10] X Research source
No one, neither close friends and relatives nor casual acquaintances, responds well to being yelled at. It is frightening and most likely will only make the conflict worse.
Those are cool shoes! Are they new? Or, Where did you get them? He’s such a cute dog! What’s his name? What kind of dog is he? It’s easier to keep conversation rolling with someone if you contribute, ask questions, are interested in the answers, and then add more it. [13] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Again, the more interested you act in the other person, the more likely that person is to want to have more conversations with you. Even if you don’t care about having more conversations with that person, you probably want to avoid making them think you are self-centered and vain. Some types of humor or jokes are not appropriate for most situations. Making others feel bad, or jokes at the expense of others, will most likely make others uncomfortable, especially if you don’t know them very well. [14] X Research source
The type of clothes you wear to a certain event tells others that you care about your appearance and will help you feel more confident. If you’re going to a restaurant, try looking it up online to see if you can tell how fancy it is. For casual places, and for picnics or ball games, jeans and t-shirts or business casual clothes are just fine. For fancier restaurants, weddings, or holiday parties, you’ll want to dress up a bit more (a nice dress or skirt and blouse for women; a suit or dress shirt and dress pants for men) keeping in mind the exact location of the event to determine how “dressy” to be.
Keeping up with hygiene may sound obvious, but letting it slack can be pretty detrimental to your social interactions, as well as put you at higher risk for getting sick. [17] X Research source
You can get some helpful advice, especially if you’re going to a new place and your friend has been somewhere like it before. Or, if you’re just unsure how formal a certain occasion is (ex. weddings can be either extremely formal or quite informal) it’s a good idea to ask someone.
