Every couple decides how much sex is right for them. There’s no “normal” amount of sex to have with your partner. You and your partner could just be happy having less sex, and that’s okay. Talking to a therapist can help you figure out if you want to work on your relationship or walk away.
Criticism Contempt for each other Refusing to take responsibility Feeling unloved Lost trust Infidelity Abuse
Tell your partner what you need from them. Say, “I want us to talk to a counselor because I’m worried our relationship is in danger,” or “Our lack of intimacy really bothers me, and I want us to figure out how to make things better. ”
You might have a problem if your partner has started abusing you or you have different values. Similarly, you might decide to leave if your partner violates one of your personal deal breakers.
This can happen when one of you has a fetish the other one doesn’t feel comfortable fulfilling. Similarly, you may just not have a good rhythm or may not fit well together.
If you want to work on your relationship, seeing a counselor is super important. They can help you communicate about what led to the affair and how to improve your relationship going forward.
“I feel like you turn me down for sex because you’re mad at me. Can we talk about this?” “When you push me away, it makes me feel like you’re trying to get back at me. Can we discuss that?” “I feel like you stop having sex with me when I don’t do what you want. Are you willing to talk about it?”
Your therapist can actually help you decide if it’s time to end your relationship. Talk to them about how you’re feeling. Say, “Do you think it makes sense to keep trying?” or “I wanted to get your advice about potentially separating. ”
“Lately, I’ve noticed our relationship is on the decline. I was hoping you’d go to counseling with me so we can repair it. ” “I’ve really missed the intimacy we used to have. Would you be willing to go to couple’s counseling with me to help reignite our spark?”
“Lately, I’ve noticed our relationship is on the decline. I was hoping you’d go to counseling with me so we can repair it. ” “I’ve really missed the intimacy we used to have. Would you be willing to go to couple’s counseling with me to help reignite our spark?”
“I can’t wait to get my hands on you later. ” “I’m just picturing you getting out of the shower this morning. ” “Do you like my new underwear?” “You’re making it so hard to focus on work. ”
Enjoying time with each other builds emotional intimacy, which helps improve your physical intimacy. Focus on learning more about each other because it’ll bring you closer together.
“I want you to put whipped cream on me. ” “I like to give foot massages before sex. ” “I want to try bondage. ”
You might make every Saturday night your “sex” night. If you have kids, you might schedule sex on a day when all of your kids are busy with an activity or when it’s most convenient to get a sitter.
Role playing. Bondage. Filming yourself. Feeding each other strawberries or chocolates. Whipped cream. Using toys. Switching your positions.
Go for a walk after dinner. Cook together. Fold the laundry together. Go grocery shopping together. Take a shower together.
Wear sexy underwear or lingerie Improve your wardrobe Take a yoga or pole dancing class Read a romance novel or erotica Massage yourself Compliment yourself
