Don’t continuously stare at your date’s mouth. They might get weirded out. Short one to two second glances here and there should do the trick!
You don’t have to wait until the end of the date to start your little touches; you can build up to the kiss with little touches throughout your date. If you’re at dinner together, try putting your hand on their hand. If you’re at a movie, sit close so that your shoulders touch. If they pull back, they may not be as interested. Some people don’t like to be touched, so you may need to be patient.
Try to give sincere, direct compliments. In other words, really pay attention to the person and figure out what you like about them. That way, you can give a compliment that’s specific to the person. [3] X Research source For instance, saying “You look pretty,” is fairly general. Saying, “Your smile is so lovely. It lights up the room,” is much more specific.
If your date is into you, they might play with their hair, hold your gaze, lean toward you, or even mimic your movements (subconsciously). And, yes, they might look at your lips, just like you’re looking at theirs! We love the sexual tension!
Realize that this may not mean your date wants to kiss. They may be having a nice time, and they may like you romantically, but they could still be uncomfortable kissing yet. If your date asks you for a piece of gum, they may be trying to freshen up their breath before a potential smooch. (Make sure you freshen up, too!)
You don’t even need to be on a date to kiss: you can smooch during a casual hangout or at work or school, if the moment is right. As long as you both want to kiss, it doesn’t matter when you do it. You may feel comfortable kissing on a first date, but remember that your date may not be, so assume nothing, and don’t feel bad if they’re not up for it. They may feel more comfortable after you’ve gone out a few times!
Waiting to kiss until the end of a date gives you more time to gauge their feelings—if you try to kiss someone without spending enough time with them, they’ll be more likely to turn you down. Another reason to wait till the end of the date: if it doesn’t go well, or if your date rejects your kiss, you get to leave right after!
If you can’t find a secluded spot, dim lighting (like at a restaurant or movie theater) may afford you some privacy. Studies also indicate that being intimate in dim spaces can help you be more present with your partner and feel less self-conscious—which may be particularly helpful when kissing for the first time![7] X Research source
If they rush off, it doesn’t necessarily mean they didn’t want to kiss; they might be nervous or not comfortable kissing on a first date.
If you’re worried that asking will spoil the “romance,” there are lots of cute and romantic ways to ask! You could give them a handwritten note that says, “Can I kiss you?” Make a silly joke by saying, “Welcome to Kissville, population: us!” so they know what your intentions are (and keeping it light may alleviate the pressure if they don’t feel up for it). Or just be direct and say, “I really want to kiss you right now” or “Would you mind if I kissed you?” Telling your date what you want can be pretty darn hot, actually!
Keep your lips slightly parted and soft. If you’re too rigid, it won’t be a great kiss. Most people don’t French kiss the first time they kiss, but if you want to initiate tongue, and you think your date is into it, slowly introduce your tongue to your partner’s lips. If their mouth opens to receive your tongue, it’s a sign they’re interested in Frenching, but if they keep their lips closed, it likely means they’re not up for it. [11] X Research source
If your date rejects your kiss, it could mean they didn’t feel enough chemistry and aren’t interested in a romantic relationship with you. This always stings, but it’s good to know! But it’s also possible your date likes you but they’re just not ready to kiss yet. If they seem to have had a good time, and if they express interest in going out again, it’s likely you’ll kiss them soon enough!
