Ask yourself why you are curious. If it’s persistent discomfort with your assigned gender, or attraction to the image of yourself as a different gender, you may be transgender. Consider the possibility that you could be nonbinary: if you don’t feel like you are exactly a man or a woman, you could be something else. If you feel comfortable with your assigned gender but you notice yourself acting out of step with other cisgender people, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re transgender. You could just be a feminine man, or a masculine woman. Keep in mind that being transgender is not the same as being ’transsexual’. Transsexual is an older term used to describe people who have taken or want to take medical steps to permanently change their physical sex. Some transgender people may use hormones and even have surgery, but not all do. Many trans people find this term offensive, but some are okay with it and use it to describe themselves, so always ask before referring to a trans person as “transsexual”. [4] X Research source
Insisting you are not the gender your parents say you are. Thinking you will grow up to be a gender other than your assigned one. Casting yourself as another gender during imagination games. Dressing up, or wanting to dress, in clothing associated with this gender. Preference for friends of this gender. Strong desire to participate in group activities, games, and pastimes typical of this gender. Rejection of gendered toys that correspond with your assigned gender. Dislike of your own anatomy and/or genitalia. Feeling sadness, fear, confusion, embarrassment, anger, or other emotions because of gender-related things.
If you feel like you’re being put in the wrong box, you might consider that those are other people’s boxes, not yours. You could choose to forget about boxes entirely, and just go about living life as yourself, whatever that means to you. Notice how you feel when you are with a group of people of your assigned gender. If you feel different, or like you are passing for one of them but are not really one of them, you may be experiencing dysphoria.
If you dread being addressed as “sir” or “ma’am,” it may be that that term does not suit you. See how you feel when you are in a group and someone refers to you as “ladies” or “gentlemen. " Notice if your name feels like the wrong one. If it does feel right, question whether you think of it as a “girls” name or a “boys” name. How do you feel when someone accidentally calls you by the pronoun of the so-called opposite gender? If it feels comfortable or gratifying, you may be transgender.
If the experience of puberty came as a shock or a trauma, this may be dysphoria. Try to recall if you were upset by the acquisition of secondary sex characteristics (deepened voice, breast development, broadened shoulders, facial hair, the onset of menstruation). If you avoid mirrors, getting your picture taken, or hide your body in layers of clothing, then this may also indicate that you could have some body dysphoria.
Look for counselors who specialize in gender identity, Gender Dysphoria, or LGBT concerns. If there is a transgender health clinic in your area, contact them to see if they have any available therapists. If you live in the USA, you can use the American Psychologist Association locator to find a psychologist who specializes in questions of gender identity: http://locator. apa. org/ In the UK, consider contacting the Beaumont Society for a reference: http://www. beaumontsociety. org. uk/ You can also ask your doctor for a recommendation, or visit a counselor at your school if you are in high school or college.
Not everyone you meet will want to talk about their gender! Some people may feel exposed if you ask them personal questions. You can mention your own questions, and if they ask you questions you can ask in return. If you’re not sure, write them or find a private moment to ask. You might say, “I’ve been thinking a lot about my own gender identity, and you are someone who might know about some of the questions I am having. If you ever have the time and energy, I would love to talk to you about this. Please feel free to say no. "
Check out a general LGBTQ forum like: http://emptyclosets. com/forum/ If you are 13-24 years old, you can join TrevorSpace for a safe, monitored forum: https://www. trevorspace. org/login You can also look into organizations like PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and GLAAD to find resources and support for yourself and your family. [9] X Research source [10] X Research source
Try out other pronouns. See how you feel when you refer to yourself with pronouns other than those you were assigned. If you think you might be a trans woman, call yourself “she” and “her,” and ask a confidant to do the same.
Try using “they/them” pronouns. If you don’t feel like a “he” or a “she,” or if you are looking for a way to communicate your gender to others, try gender neutral pronouns. Keep in mind that you can take your time, and you may decide that you do not want to make a change at all. Don’t let other people pressure you.
If you feel like you’re nonbinary, experiment with an androgynous look, or mix and match typically gendered clothing.
Consider changing your name. Think about asking others to call you by different pronouns, such as she/her, he/him, or they/them, or even neopronouns. Come out to people in your life if you feel safe doing so. You can come out as transgender or tell people you are questioning your gender. Think about your body. Would you like it to be more feminine or masculine? You might cut or grow your hair, take hormones, get top or bottom surgery, or change nothing at all.
