Feeling comfortable expressing your thoughts, feelings, opinions, or dreams Being considerate of the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions Treating one another with respect Offering support to the other Avoiding violence Being able to resolve conflicts Trusting each other Comforting one another Being able to confide in one another Communicating directly and openly Encouraging the other to have friends and other interests Being honest about past relationships or sexual activity Participating in sexual activity by choice
Take note that, while you can be excited about spending time with your partner and saddened when they leave, there is a line drawn that can make this behavior obsessive or codependent. A codependent relationship means you frequently give up your needs or interests in favor of your partner’s, or always want to be with this particular person only. If you spot such a pattern in yourself, you need professional help to learn how to form healthier attachments.
Signs that you are interested in upgrading a sexual relationship may include having fun together and spending time that is not sexual in nature, having absorbing and thrilling conversations, being encouraged to improve yourself because of the other person, and wanting to know more about them – including meeting their friends and family. [5] X Research source Signs that you want the relationship to stay in the “sexual” category may include only being lovers with no friendship element, having a greater interest in sex than quality time or conversation, being consumed in the person’s physical appearance, and keeping a wall up in which you discuss things in terms of fantasy rather than real feelings, opinions, and dreams. [6] X Research source
Be warned: extreme possessiveness, jealousy, or controlling are not elements of a healthy love relationship. Yes, you and your partner should want to turn away other suitors, but pushing away friends and losing your head if they talk to someone else is a red flag and an unhealthy attachment, or even abuse. [9] X Research source
When rejected, it’s okay to feel sad, disappointed, or angry (or any other emotion). Feeling this way is normal. However, use these feelings positively. Be nice to yourself rather than making yourself feel even worse with negative criticism. Make an effort to remember all the good qualities you have. Pat yourself on the back for having the courage to be vulnerable in the first place. Then, use what you learned from this situation to improve yourself and your relationships in the future. [11] X Research source When having to break up or reject someone, think through the conversation beforehand. Carefully go over your reasons and decide how to share them in a respectful way. Always break up face-to-face. For example, tell your date that you need to talk to him/her about something important. Initiate the conversation by saying something you like about the person. Next, explain what’s not working and that you want to break up. Tell the person that you are sorry to hurt him/her. Finally, respect the other person’s need for space. [12] X Research source
Perform self-care regularly, taking part in activities that make you feel good and relieve stress. Examples may include reading a book, walking your dog, or participating in a hobby. Make decisions based on needs rather than wants. Choose to take advantage of opportunities and be around people that honor your values and needs. [14] X Research source
Setting boundaries allows you to feel safe within your relationship knowing that you stand behind doing things at your own pace. By setting limits, you are supporting your own needs and values emotionally, mentally, and physically. [16] X Research source
An emotionally stable partner realizes that not every day with your partner will be peaches and cream. The two of you will disagree and even annoy one another. Going into the relationship with a realistic outlook and expectations can sometimes prevent a crash and burn in the end. [21] X Research source
Contrary to old wives’ tales about getting back out there too soon being the cause for relationship doom, research shows that people who are able to start new relationships in a shorter amount of time have enhanced well-being and higher self-esteem. [22] X Research source Still, you should carefully question your motives before starting a rebound relationship. Are you doing it to get back at your ex? Are you constantly comparing your new date to your old date? If so, you may want to give yourself time to completely get over them first.
