You can notice this in subtle ways. For example, a formally social person may turn down invitations to go out. A co-worker who used to always listen to music at their desk may suddenly work in silence. A person who used to always be on the computer may suddenly stop using it. You may also notice a person just seems down or neutral much of the time. Someone may no longer smile as much or laugh at jokes. A friend may not seem happy or very present at social events.
Sometimes, this can be obvious. A person suffering from depression may say things like, “This is hopeless. " However, often signs of pessimism are hard to catch. A person with depression may sound more realistic than pessimistic. For example, if someone is depressed they may say something like, “I studied so hard for that test, but I doubt I’ll get a decent grade. " This may sound like the person is simply looking at the situation pragmatically. However, if these kinds of statements are made frequently, they may point to depression. If a person seems consistently pessimistic for many weeks, this may indicate depression.
While a person may seem cheery, you may worry that something is off. A friend may always be smiling when you see them, but you notice them pulling away. You may realize someone who seems happy is turning down invitations to go out, infrequently returning texts and phone calls, and otherwise acting in a way that isolates them from others. If these patterns continue for more than a few days, this may indicate depression.
Someone may be more irritable and hostile when depressed. For example, a friend living with depression may snap at you for being a few minutes late to a social event. A person living with depression may be very short-tempered. For example, a co-worker may become frustrated quickly when explaining something to you at the office. If this happens only once or twice, the person may just be having a bad day. However, if this pattern of behavior continues for a while, it may indicate depression.
With depression, concentration issues can often affect social and work life. A friend who is depressed may struggle to hold down a conversation. A student suffering from depression may suddenly be turning in papers late or not at all. Missing deadlines and neglecting obligations is also a common indicator someone is struggling to concentrate. If a normally punctual co-worker keeps missing meetings and reports, this could be a sign of depression.
The person may express guilt about past and present mistakes. For example, “I feel so bad I didn’t work harder in college. I would have done better during today’s meeting. I’m bringing the whole company down. " A person experiencing depression may also feel bad for their emotions or existence in general. They may apologize for not being a good friend, or feel the need to apologize for feeling down.
The easiest way to know about sleep changes is if someone shares the information with you. Someone may, say, complain about not getting enough sleep or sleeping too much. Behavioral changes can also alert you to changes in sleep habits. If someone seems groggy or off during the day, they may be struggling to sleep. If a roommate, romantic partner, or family member suddenly seems to be sleeping a lot, they may be depressed. Keep in mind, many factors, including physical ailments, can lead to a change in sleep habits. Look for long term changes in sleep habits that occur alongside other symptoms of depression.
If someone is overeating, you may notice them snacking more frequently and eating larger meals. For example, your roommate may suddenly order take out several times a day. If someone is under-eating, they may frequently skip meals. You may notice, for example, a co-worker suffering from depression stops eating lunch.
If you live with someone who is depressed, you may notice them using substances more often. For example, your roommate starts drinking most nights, including nights before classes. You may also notice a co-worker or friend relying on substances more. A co-worker may suddenly take frequent smoke breaks. A friend may want to go out drinking very frequently and usually drink to excess.
If you notice someone has put on or lost weight recently, and this comes alongside other symptoms, this person may very well have depression.
In extreme cases, a suicidal person may actually say something like, “I wish I was dead. "
A suicidal person may say things like, “Life is too hard” or “There’s no way out of this situation” or “There’s nothing I can do to make things better. " They may also be very negative about themselves. You may hear things like “I’m a burden on everyone” or “You shouldn’t have to deal with me. "
If someone actually has a suicide plan, this is very dangerous. You should immediately alert emergency services. The person’s life could be in danger.
Do not leave someone you suspect is suicidal alone. If the person attempts to harm themselves, call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. You should also alert a family member or friend as soon as possible. If you’re not with the person, tell them to call/text the National Suicide and Crisis at 988. If you’re outside the United States, look for the equivalent in your country. In the UK, for example, they can call +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90. [14] X Research source A suicidal person needs professional intervention as soon as possible. It’s important to get them to a therapist or counselor. A suicidal person may need to be temporarily hospitalized.
Bring up your concerns with the person. You can start with something like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been acting strange lately and I’m a little concerned. " Tactfully address any of the symptoms that concern you. For example, “You seem very tired lately. I know this could be for any reason, but have you been feeling okay?” Let the person know you’re there to help. Say something like, “If you want to talk about it, I would always be happy to listen. "
You can offer to help them find therapists in your area. If you’re still in school, you can direct them to the campus counseling center.
Remember, however, that you cannot solve someone else’s problems. While you can provide support, it’s still necessary for the person to seek professional help.
