A friends with benefits situation can be tricky, and they aren’t for everyone. If you’re finding that you attach a lot of emotions to sex, this dynamic might just not be for you (and that’s okay).
You never have to do anything that you don’t want to, but try to keep an open mind. If you’ve never tried something before, you might just like it!
Don’t be alarmed if you don’t hear from your FWB for a while. People get busy, and they might have other things going on, like work or school. If you find yourself wanting to talk to them more and more every day, you could be developing feelings for them. If that’s the case, talk to your FWB to see what their feelings are and what you might do about your relationship.
You can talk to your friends about your FWB, but don’t mention them to your parents or relatives. They’ll probably assume that you two are dating, which can be tricky to deal with.
This will help avoid feeling too transactional. If you can talk to each other like friends, you’ll probably have a better sex life, too.
Try inviting your hookup out to breakfast the next day as a fun way to connect without a sexual component.
In general, you don’t want to ask your FWB to spend the night unless you two have just had sex. Sex-less sleepovers are usually reserved for couples who are dating, not friends with benefits. Your main priority here is preserving your friendship at all costs. If you blur the boundaries of your relationship too much, your friendship could suffer.
Shaving is optional, but some people have a preference for it. If you aren’t sure, you can ask your partner what they like.
“Are you planning to date other people? I don’t mind if you do—since I’m not looking for anything exclusive right now, I was probably going to keep dating other people, too. ” “Even though we’re just friends with benefits, I’d feel more comfortable if we weren’t sleeping with other people. It just helps me to know that we’re having safe sex. ”
Talking about safe sex can feel a little awkward, but it’s an important conversation to have. Start it off by saying something like: “Could we talk really quick about what we’re gonna use for protection? I’m on birth control, but I’d like to use condoms as well, just to be safe. ” “I know we’re exclusive, but I’d feel more comfortable if we used condoms and dental dams, at least at first. ”
“I’m having a ton of fun with you right now, but I am still looking for a serious relationship elsewhere. I want you to know that if I find someone I could see a future with, I’ll probably end our situation. ” “I really like what we’ve got going on right now, but it’s probably just a summer thing for me. I just want you to be prepared for that. ”
